if i can run in heels then i can drive
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
