I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
