She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
