I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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