how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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