there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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