I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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