The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
