walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
