that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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