We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
