Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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