There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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