craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
