i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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