You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
