I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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