well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
