he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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