just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
