I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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