she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
