Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
