you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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