break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
