I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
