i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
