Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
