i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
