good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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