As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
