I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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