You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
