The maid of honor just puked.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
