Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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