I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
