man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
