are you still at the devil's house?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
