just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
