He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
