The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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