so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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