What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Bring me that man meat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
