I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
me + whiskey = a bad person
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
