His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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