there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
