he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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