The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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