If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
