i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
