I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
