I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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