Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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