You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
